To start with I need to translate myself into the world of The Elder Scrolls. That’s the real world me, not who I’d like me to be, or me with a twist, but just me in all my pure, unadulterated, geeky glory. To do that I’m going to need to be brutally honest with, and about, myself.
Here goes, time to kick myself right in the pride…
The first thing I have to choose will be my race. It should go without saying that I am not an anthropomorphic feline, nor am I a humanoid lizard. My skin is not green (except maybe after a heavy night out) so orcs aren’t an option either. I can’t be any of the elvish races as don’t have pointy ears, and the opinion of that girl who said I was hung like one doesn’t count.
That leaves Redguards, Nords, Imperials, and Bretons. I’m English, have dark hair and eyes, fair skin, and my first name is William. That rules out Redguards and Imperials on physical appearance, and as my name is of French descent places me closer to the cultures that inspired the Bretons rather than the Nords.
So, my character will be a Breton.
My Skills (or lack thereof.)
Next, I need to decide what my character is good at.
I’m 178cm tall, and I weigh 10½ stone (150 lb) and I’m weak as tap water. So, right off the bat I think it’s fair to say we can rule out any possibility of me using heavy armour, two-handed weapons, and possibly even the larger long swords. If I use bows they’d have to be short ones on account of my probable inability to cope with the higher draw strength of longbows. I think I can manage a knife or a light axe though.
So probably not a warrior then.
Which leaves magic and stealth skills. From the thief skills none stand out as something I’m incapable of improving with a little practice, so I’m allowing all of them as options for my character to use, leaving now only the question of the magic skills.
Assuming that when I arrive in Skyrim the rules of physics from Earth will have been left behind, I am not precluded from using magic simply because I can’t on Earth, so all the magical schools are viable options.
I’m not going to pick which skills I’m going to concentrate on until I’m actually in the game, though a couple stand out based on my real life experiences. Alchemy is probably my best option, as I have a science background and could conceivably make a few educated guesses about how potential reagents may interact with each other (barks for aspirin or quinine, moulds for penicillin, foxgloves for digitalis, etc).
The other skill that I think would translate from real life is sneak, which isn’t because I’m a thief in real life or someone who spends a lot of time sneaking out of bedrooms (more’s the pity) but rather because I spent a few nights in cadets running about in the dark trying not to get noticed, and because I’m just generally quite light on my feet. I’m terrible at dancing but I do it daintily; like a leaf in a breeze, or more accurately like an ataxic stick insect in a hurricane…